Doctor Doctor - Give Me The News…

May 11, 2009 by JD
Filed under Health, Information, Slice of My Life

I have a friend. This friend’s father died of a heart attack several years ago. His mother died of cancer last year. Both at a fairly young age.

That has to be rough and I can’t say for certain how I would deal with it, but I know how my friend has been dealing with it. He has decided that his time on this earth is short and that if that cold he had last week doesn’t turn into swine flu, it’s bound to lead to pneumonia. And that nagging pain in his shoulder, that might be a tumor. I told him he just needs to change his golf swing, but he’s insistent that there’s something going on. And that that something may be terminal.

Yes, my friend has turned into a stressed out hypochondriac. And that means our local GNC manager just smiles and rubs his hands together when he sees my friend coming.

Of course there’s the daily multivitamin. And not just any multivitamin. It has to be the premium blend that contains roughly 3000% of the recommended daily allowance of vitamins A-Z, 35 minerals including iron, zinc, and something called rebar-ite, and 47 herbs including ginseng, dandelion, and I think crabgrass. Amazing how they get all that stuff into one little pill. But, oh wait, he has to take 3 of those pills a day.

But grab your shopping basket, cause my friend’s monthly trip to the Ye Olde Miracle Tonics and Elixirs store doesn’t stop there.

There’s SAM-e for mood and to prevent the onset of osteoarthritis (hey, he is 43…it could happen!)

There’s Folic Acid. Now this one is a real bargain cause it protects against heart attacks AND cancer.

There’s Milk Thistle for his liver. Fish Oil and Flaxseed Oil for his heart. And Resveratrol for overall antioxidant protection.

There’s more, but I can’t keep up with the various miracle pill of the month supplement scams he opens his wallet for.

And yes, I’ve tried to talk to him about his habit. We even tried an intervention where we slipped him a glass of V-8 Juice to replace his usual $3.95 shot of wheat grass juice. But to no avail. He is convinced that the only way to hold off his genetically accelerated date with death, is to fortify his body with every healing and curative pill, powder, and potion he can find.

Yesterday he told me he’d been having headaches. I’m off to buy some more GNC stock.