Saving A Marriage: A Mid-Life Success Story
September 10, 2009 by JD
Filed under Marriage and Relationships, Slice of My Life
First, this story is not about me. I am a happily married man who has tried to develop healthy ways of dealing with the problems that crop up in any marriage. The wife and I have our moments, but after ten years, we’ve learned enough about each other to play to each other’s strengths, respect boundaries, and avoid pushing the wrong buttons. Usually anyway. Saving a marriage is just not a task we’ve had to face. Knock wood.
But we do have some friends that have been experiencing some real turmoil in their marriage. You’d never know it if you saw them in public. As a couple, they seem to be perfect for each other. On the surface anyway.
He is a real Type A personality who is focused on his climb up the corporate ladder. Well, he doesn’t really climb - he sprints. It’s always about the next promotion and the next bump in salary. His rationale seems to be that the higher up the food chain he is, the more protected he is against layoffs and the other ugly by-products of these uncertain economic times.
She, on the other hand, is a stay-at-home Mom who is heavily involved in her kid’s activities and the school PTA. She manages the household, makes sure the kids get where they need to be, and can be found working the concession stand at many of her kid’s sporting events. Personality wise she is extremely laid back and seems to roll smoothly with the ebb and flow of active adolescents, a demanding husband, and a hectic schedule.
Perfect match, right? The ambitious breadwinner and the supportive wife? Maybe not so much.
A few months ago, he came up to me while I was in the front yard playing with Junior. After a few pleasantries, he turned and asked me “Does marriage counseling work?”
Turns out things weren’t so rosy in the marriage. He was bored and frustrated at work. She was irritated at his lack of attention to his family.
They tried counseling, but after trying 2-3 different counselors, they couldn’t agree on one to move forward with. They each favored the one that seemed to favor them.
Long story short, they decided to take a self help approach. We went to dinner with them last week, and the change in their relationship was pretty apparent. He was much more attentive to her. She seemed to be more tolerant of his dinner table soliloquies on the state of the U.S. economy. They were even holding hands at the table.
According to them, they are still pushing through their issues, but they seem to be much happier just knowing they are working towards a common goal. I asked them what had changed. Had they finally found a counselor they could work with?
They said no. It was all about this program they heard about on the radio called The Us Factor. It’s some program put together by a doctor that helps you work on your marriage and improve your relationships.
I don’t know much of anything about the program except that it seems to be helping our friends. I also don’t know what the odds are of saving a marriage that’s gone sour, but they seem to be one of the lucky couples who have come back from the brink. At least so far. They encouraged me to get the word out about this program, so you can click here or on the graphic to learn more. Again, don’t know a thing about it myself, but it’s helped two people I know come back together.
Any tips you want to share on keeping a marriage intact and exciting? Just leave us a comment below.
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